Steps to Get Your Ex Back After A Break Up

If you are wondering if it's possible to get your ex back after a break up, the answer to that question is yes, but you need to approach things the right way to have any chance of getting back together after a relationship break up. Before you start the process of fixing a broken relationship, you need to ask yourself this important question: should I fix this relationship?

After a relationship break up, you will understandably feeling lonely and lost. This is not a good reason to try and get back with your ex, because these feelings can lead you to ignore the very real problems that lead to the relationship falling apart to begin with. But if you look at the relationship and realize that your reasons for wanting to get back with your ex are genuine, then it's time to take the right steps to mend the parts of the relationship that are broken.

You need to take a planned and measured approach, though, and not just go charging right in. You wouldn't run on a broken leg, and you need to take the same kind of care in healing after a relationship break up.

Date Someone Else. I know this seems like weird advice when you're trying to get your ex back, but this is a very useful step. The keyword here is date; this is not an invitation to start a full-fledged romance.

Dating other people will serve two purposes. One is that it will show you whether or not you should be trying to get your ex back: if you find you're not thinking about them and are thing about your date, then this is a sign that you may be moving on. The other reason is that it will give you some space to reflection on your relationship and something to compare it to. This will give you the information you will need to do the next step.

Know what went wrong. The cliché is that people that don't k now their history are doomed to repeat it. This is rarely truer than in repairing a broken relationship. If you don't know exactly what went wrong, you won't be able to fix it, so it is very important that you figure out where things went wrong so that you can navigate around the reasons for your relationship break up.

Use a Light Touch. Start slow and don't rush things. Do not, under any circumstances, expect things to immediately revert to the good old days before the relationship break up. You need to look at this as starting all over, and you need to let things progress at their own pace. Nothing will put your ex off faster than you trying to push them too far, too fast.

While this post will certainly start you on the road to winning your ex back after a relationship break up, you may still need more advice and instruction. If this is the case, The Magic Of Making Up System will help you get back to the place where you were happy.

Tips to Repair Your Relationship After Infidelity

Here are some tips that are going to help you restore you relationship after infidelity.

Take Charge. If you want to repair your relationship after infidelity, then you need to take charge. The cheating might not have been your fault, but the responsibility for fixing things is going to have to fall on you. You can't make your partner do something, so you can't just sit back and hope that things will fix themselves. This will also help you to feel better about the relationship. Being cheated on makes you feel like a victim, and taking charge to repair your relationship will give you back the strength and pride that cheating took away.

Don't Play the Blame Game. The human thing is to want to blame the cheater and heap all your emotions on to them. While this may help you feel better, it won't help you rebuild your relationship after infidelity. You need to put away blame and move past it. This can be difficult, but the best thing you can do is not expect an apology and don't fish for one. You'll get one, if the relationship can be saved, but if you spend timing trying to get them to admit how much they hurt you, you won't be spending the time you need to be spending fixing the relationship.

Find the Reasons Why
. Infidelity is a sign that something is broken in your relationship. Even if you manage to get over the cheating and get back together, if you don't fin d out what caused it, then your relationship is going to fail. This will take brutal honesty on both of your parts, and it's important that you try to keep your emotions in check. Your partner's reasons are going to sound like excuses, but if you keep communicating you will eventually be able to find the truth about what needs to be fixed in your relationship.

Learn to Trust Again. In many ways, this is the toughest thing to do after infidelity. The trust has been broken, and it will be hard to get it back, but you need to be able to trust your partner again. No relationship has ever succeeded based on suspicion and paranoia.

There are many resources available to help you recover after infidelity, and you should make use of them. Repairing your relationship is hard enough, no matter what, so take the extra step and get the help you need to make things good again.

What Is Emotional Infidelity?

How to Recognize It

Emotional infidelity is almost always the first step on the road to cheating, and may well be considered cheating its own right. There is far more to a relationship than just have a physical relationship with only one person and one person only. The truly satisfying and meaningful part of a relationship is the bond you share with the other person.

The emotional connection is a deep and integral part of a relationship, which is what makes emotional infidelity so devastating. The true bond in a relationship goes far beyond just physical fidelity; it's a large part of what makes a relationship a relationship. A relationship is about sharing your thoughts, feeling and soul with another.

Emotional infidelity is when your significant other begins to form those same kinds of bonds with another person. This almost always goes along with withdrawing from the original relationship. You go from being your significant other's friend and confidant to being a stranger in your own relationship. This freezing out can be difficult to deal with, and may be hard to see. You may feel that the problem is on your end and that you are the one doing something wrong.

At the same time, it involves the other person forming bonds with another person outside the marriage. One of the terrible things about it is that it can be difficult to define and identify. Because there is nothing as obvious as sleeping with another person going on, saying for certain that it is going on is trickier to prove.

One big sign is a sexual chemistry between the two people, flirting and teasing each other. It may seem innocent because there is nothing physical going on, but emotional infidelity will cause the person to behave differently. This is a key point that you need to keep in mind when you suspect emotional infidelity. Everybody has friends; men have their best buddies, women have their girlfriends. Many people have close friends of the opposite sex, people with whom they confide much of their lives.

This isn't emotional infidelity, and the big thing to look for is signs of guilt. The big sign that someone is becoming involved with someone else on an emotional level is the fact that your significant other feels compelled to hide it. No one hides their relationships with just friends from their significant others. When they're hiding something, it means there is something to hide.

Emotional infidelity is a problem in and of itself, but it tends to be one of the early signs of a relationship going bad. The next step is usually physical infidelity, and this is almost always preceded by emotional infidelity. If you can recognize and do something about emotional infidelity, you may have an easier time than if you catch it at a later stage.

The two big signs are emotional disengagement and secretive behavior. If your significant other is pulling away from you, becoming distance or hostile, this is a big sign. Likewise, if they are acting suspiciously, hiding phone calls and emails, avoiding questions and just generally acting like they have a secret, this is a sign.

You need to catch emotional infidelity in its early stages and fix it. This can be tough to do, but if you suspect emotional infidelity in your relationship, then you need to seek out an advice and instruction on how to fix your relationship.

Steps To Stop Your Divorce And Save Your Marriage

More than half of all marriages today, will end in divorce, and the tragedy is that most of these breakups could have been prevented. You do not have to be a statistic. You can do something about it; you can stop your divorce. I won't say that it is going to be easy, but it is possible. You just have to follow the steps to rebuild what has been broken.

You can't expect to stop your divorce without a plan anymore than you can expect to build a house without blueprints. Fortunately, the help is available and it behooves you to take advantage of it. Your marriage does not have to fail. You can do something.

Find the Problem. You can't stop your divorce if you don't know why your marriage is falling apart. You need to work with your spouse to diagnose what is wrong with the marriage. This is a little harder than it sounds, because what you think might be the reason for the divorce is just a symptom.

Fix the Problem. In many ways, this is the most important step. If you can't fix the problem, then you can't stop your divorce. Some problems can't be fixed, but most can. The reason most marriage ending problems don't get solved is that they are never identified. What you need to do now is work with your spouse to make the compromises that will save your marriage.

Remember the Good Times. You're going to need to remind both your spouse and yourself why you were together to begin with. No matter how bad your marriage has gotten, there was a point when things were good. You should try to get back to that place, but you should always keep in mind that it existed.

Start Over. The last step in your quest to stop your divorce is to begin again. You need to look at your marriage as a brand new marriage. While you should keep in mind the good times, you need to forget the bad times and learn about your spouse all over again. Things have changed, and you need to make your marriage work with the person you are married to, not the person you used to be married to or the person you wish they were. Accept them as they are, and work together to build a better, stronger marriage.

If you follow these steps, you will be able to stop your divorce. If you need more help, then don't be afraid to look for it. There are systems out there like the magic of making up system to help fix what is broken in your relationship, but you need to be willing to use them.

Stages of a Relationship

Understanding Them Makes a Difference

If you understand the different stages of a relationship it can help you understand where you are and what's yet to come.

Of all the stages of a relationship, the first stage is probably the most exciting. This is the romance stage, the beginning. There's dating and getting to know each other, and each of you is on your very best behavior because you want to woo the other person.

This stage is often called the honeymoon period, because everything is fresh and new. Everything the other person does probably seems wonderful. You laugh at his jokes, and don't mind the person's flaws. In fact, you may even find his flaws endearing. Just like anything new, it can be a great deal of fun and seem adventurous.

The next two stages are the make or break stages that many couples never make it through. They account for things like very short relationships and marriages. The second stage is commonly known as the power struggle stage.

This is when the newness starts to wear off, and usually starts somewhere between six months to a year after the relationships starts. It's during this time that things start to get serious. Everything isn't as cute and endearing as it was in the beginning.

Each person in the relationship is trying to get his or her needs met, and they're starting to notice where the other person falls short in doing that. If you're in this stage, take a step back. The things you're finding fault with in the other person are probably flaws that you have also.

If a couple can get through this stage, the relationship has a much better chance of lasting. Unfortunately, many couples try to change each other in the second stage. This leads to break-ups. Honest communication is the key to getting past it. Be understanding, and realize that you have shortcomings, too.

The third of the stages of a relationship is where you realize that you can't change the other person, and you stop trying. If you came to that realization by talking with your partner and being understanding, then congratulations are in order!

This stage for you will be one of learning to be content with what the other has to offer and learning to take care of yourself. If the power struggle ended badly, then this is the stage where you're likely to end the relationship.

The next stage is that of commitment. You realized you couldn't change each other but you still made it work, and you know you want to be together. Now you can move on to a true partnership, which is the last stage.

Many couples bounce from stage 2 to 3 several times before moving on to commitment. By understanding the stages of a relationship, you're at least aware of what’s happening and why.

To Get Your Ex Back You Must Face Up To Your Mistakes

Making mistakes in relationships means you have to fix them and apologize for those mistakes before there can be any making up.

When you decide you want to get back with ex, you must be ready to face not only what has gone wrong with the relationship, but also your part in the break down of the relationship. If you made mistakes then don't beat yourself up for that. We all make them, it's what you do after the mistake that's important.

So sit down on your own and take some time to go through what happened and what were the issues that led up to what happened. Don't concern yourself too much with what you see as your ex's mistakes, leave that for the future. Only concern yourself right now with what you can influence.

Whatever mistakes you find in your past behavior, can they be forgiven? Don't be too eager to get down on yourself and believe that your mistakes are basically unforgivable. You would be surprised at the situations that couples find themselves in and that they later recover from. So don't think that your mistakes are beyond forgiveness. There is always hope!

Try and pin point what was happening in your life at the time that led you to make the mistakes, especially if it was completely out of character for you. Remember what I said about facing hard truths, if you want to get back with ex, then you need to do this.

You might discover that you were under certain stresses and strains. Perhaps you were under threat at your job? Or you weren't physically feeling yourself? Or perhaps there were other family issues. Whatever you find when you look back at what happened, you will eventually need to sit down with your ex and explain in detail just what you have found.

If your mistakes were the result of you just being thoughtless or selfish, then this is something about you and your character that can quite easily be fixed. It will take ongoing monitoring but if you are sincerely committed to get back with ex, then it is going to be worthwhile.

When you have come to the point where you have begun to gain perspective about your mistakes, then call your ex and arrange to meet. It is usually better to arrange a face to face meeting somewhere public and neutral because then there is less chance of either of you becoming emotional.

So, make sure that you stay calm and focused on what you want to say. Apologize and ask for forgiveness and then listen carefully to what your ex has to say.

The Relationships Wife Keep Her Happy

If you're the relationships wife, you know you're not in an easy position. You might feel put upon, as if everything from the home to some of the income is your responsibility. For years men worked while the wife took care of hearth and home. Today's relationships wife is supposed to work and do it all with a smile on her face!

But you can't do it all, and you can't have it all. At least you can't without personal sacrifice and exhaustion. Add saving your relationship and preserving your marriage into the mix, and it's a sure recipe for fatigue and depression.

When things have gone wrong in your relationship, you should remember that you're not solely responsible for fixing them. He plays a part, too, and you should let him do equal duty or at least some of it. Everything that happens, good or bad, is not only because of the relationships wife.

And if you're the husband and the idea of keeping her happy seems daunting, you must remember that you're not solely responsible for her happiness either. You can contribute to it, and it's pretty easy for you to ruin it, but whether or not she's a happy person in general is mainly up to her.

It's important for the relationships wife to understand that men and women have different needs. This is important for the husband to realize, too. When you're trying to heal your marriage, it might be a good idea for both of you to read books that talk about the differences between men and women.

John Gray's books about Mars and Venus are good for pointing out the very different ways men and women feel nurtured in a relationship. They also point out how differently men view emotional things than women, and how each sometimes has an approach that's directly opposite of what the other person may want.

Even if you feel like you share things equally and have a very balanced relationship, you might discover that it's not. The relationships wife will tend to fall into certain roles, just as the husband does. Reading books about these differences can be an eye opening experience.

Even if your spouse isn't interested in reading such books, you should give them a try. It's not easy to heal a relationship when only one person seems to do all the work. But if you make an effort, very often it makes such a difference that the other person can't help but change either.

It can be an unconscious thing, in fact. By learning the best way to approach your spouse about certain issues, or understanding the way he or she naturally deals with things, it makes you a more thoughtful and respectful partner.

That alone is enough to affect the other person's behavior and make things better. You shouldn't have to do everything, but this is one thing you must take upon yourself. Whether you're the relationships wife or the husband, you're capable of helping heal the relationship.

Get Back With Your Ex Even If All Looks Lost

To get back with your ex all it takes is for at least one person wanting to save the relationship and it can be saved.

The first key to figuring out how to get back with your ex is to leave your ex alone for at least a month - if at all possible longer than a month will work even better. So break all contact with them and give your ex plenty of time to think things through.

Often times in the heat of the breakup things get said and positions get taken that given time, are soon relinquished as reasoning takes over. So if you want to get to the heart of how to get back with your ex then seriously, give yourself and your ex some time.

If you don't allow for this space to think and you continue trying to push the issue to get your ex back before the time is right, then what will happen is that the more you push, the harder your ex will push back. Remember, if your ex has walked out on the relationship he or she has clearly demonstrated that they need time to think and be left alone, give them that time.

If you're worried that all looks lost because your ex is dating someone else, then you need to remember and hold onto the fact that a lot of rebound relationships just don't last. Chances are your ex is dating that person as a way to convince themselves that their relationship with you is really over. However, just because they're trying to convince themselves their relationship with you is over for good. Guess what? It doesn't mean that it is.

It is a statistical fact that rebound relationships are fraught with difficulties and very rarely work because the person on the rebound is still emotionally connected to their ex. So don't waste a whole lot of time worrying about someone your ex is currently dating.

The truth is getting your ex back is more about the two of you than anyone else, so make sure that you keep on top of your appearance, you're not doing anything to alienate your ex and that you're appearing in control and pretty soon you will have stopped wondering how to get your ex back, because they'll be back with you.

Scorpio Relationships

Watch That Stinger

Scorpios are wonderful companions, and are fiercely loyal. But when things go wrong, the other person in a Scorpio relationship can end up feeling a bit stung.

Scorpios are take charge kind of people, who like being in charge and controlling the relationship. That doesn't mean you should give in on everything. But it helps if you understand their nature is to automatically try to lead the way in almost every situation.

When you feel the need to take charge, simply express yourself and you'll win your Scorpio's respect and admiration for standing up for yourself. Scorpios appreciate determination and moxie in a partner, because those are things Scorpios have no shortage of.

It may help to understand your partner by knowing that Scorpios relish a challenge. Playing a little hard to get at times might be just the thing. But don't play too hard to get, because if it seems you're truly not interested, your partner will lose interest, too.

It's one thing to win someone over, but to drag them clawing and kicking is another. A Scorpio loves to convince other people that their opinion is right, but by diplomatic means rather than aggressive ones. So keep it interesting by asserting yourself and not giving in, but if you resist too many things too much, the Scorpio relationship might get a little too heated.

Scorpios can be wonderful and generous partners. And sometimes they have very slow tempers that can take a lot. But when this sun sign does finally get angry, watch out! It's not going to be pretty. Even if the Scorpio doesn't actually show his or her temper, they're seething beneath the surface.

Unfortunately for many relationships, people born under this sign can hold a grudge forever. If you mess up, don't expect to be instantly forgiven. In fact, the thing you did wrong might be brought up in every argument for years to come. Some Scorpios are obviously better at forgiveness than others. But if not, it's hard to get them to forget something you did wrong.

Sometimes, Scorpios tend to think you can read their minds. Or more accurately, they think you should be able to read minds. If you've broken up and are back in your Scorpio relationship trying to make it work, you need to remember this tendency.

If your partner is in a huff, angry, short-tempered or otherwise acting poorly, it could be that you haven't figured something out they want you to figure out. This can be a frustrating Scorpio tendency, because even if you ask what's wrong you might get only, “How can you not know?”

The key to making this work is to explain that you really need them to tell you. Why you didn't pick up on the problem doesn't matter, though you should be on the look out for problems, of course. But if they're not willing to tell you what they need, it's very hard to make a Scorpio relationship work.

End a Relationship or Work Things Out

If you really love the person you're with, you might wonder when to end a relationship and why. You might think that just because you love him or her, you should stay and work things out. And very often it is worth a try. Many people give up on their relationships before they've really tried to fix them. Because it's difficult, they throw in the towel instead of working on their problems. This is unfortunate, because many people could probably be happy together if only they weren't afraid to try.

Other people have problem after problem and keep working hard when most people think they should just give up. It's as if these people are gluttons for punishment. Their partner keeps cheating on them and they keep taking them back. Or their partner keeps making other mistakes and letting them down. It seems they don't know when to end a relationship. But usually it's that they're simply afraid of being alone and moving on.

There are obvious situations that should tell you when to end a relationship. If your partner is abusive, it's time to get out, no excuses. If you don't feel safe, even down to feeling like you'll have something to eat and be secure, then you should move on. Other things are less sure. If your partner has cheated, for instance, does that always mean it's time to leave?

Some people can get past one mistake like that. They sometimes end up with a stronger relationship after the affair. But more often they really never get past the betrayal. Even if it never happens again, the one who was cheated on can't let go of the hurt. And the one who cheated will eventually get tired of the suspicion and guilt. If there has been cheating in your relationship, it's not easy to decide if it should end. You should really talk about everything involved. From trust to fear of it happening again, it should all be put on the table in an honest discussion.

How about if you feel like cheating? If you have a really strong desire to be with someone else, should you end it? These types of feelings are natural. You can even have fantasies about other people. But if you're constantly thinking that you'd be better off with someone else, maybe you really would be. If you love your partner and you've tried different ways of working it out, step back. How have you really tried? For how long?

When to end a relationship isn't always easy to see, but if you know you've done everything and it's still not working, it may be time to go.

Magic Secret to Relationships

There are many ways to make your relationship strong and give it the best chance of lasting a lifetime. Most of them are common sense and some are just reminders of when the relationship was new. None of them is really a secret.

Love. It's not enough to love your partner, but you have to show them that you love them often. You should never be in a relationship if you don't feel genuine love for someone, and feel comfortable expressing it.

Respect. If you don't respect the person you're with, there's little hope for the relationship. If you laugh at your partner, feel he or she is often a joke, dumb or worthy of some kind of scorn, then what's the point?

Kindness. Treat your partner with kindness always. A secret to relationships is to be as courteous when you're alone and not feeling thrilled at that moment as you would with a stranger on the street.

Thoughtfulness. Put your partner's needs and desires at the top of your list. Little gestures are often some of the most powerful.

Honesty. Lies can ruin a relationship quickly, even if they're lies about nothing important. Don't do anything deceptive and you'll never have to lie in the first place.

All of those are important to a relationship and may be called the magic secret to relationships. But you really need all of them for a good relationship, and they're things everyone already knows. The hard part can be figuring out how to express some of them.

Honest is pretty easy to show. Simply be open and honest during conversations. Don't be afraid to let your partner see your true self, especially when you feel scared, sad, lonely or vulnerable.

Showing respect and showing kindness can go hand in hand. By treating your partner with respect, you show that you support them. You'll back them up in their ideas and actions because you respect and believe in them.

Even when you don't necessarily feel they're doing the right thing, you can respect their decision and be kind in your words about it. Disagreeing pleasantly is a so-called secret to relationships.

Thoughtfulness and love can be expressed hand in hand, too. Telling your partner that you love him is one way to express love. But maybe he feels more loved when you reach out and rub his shoulders for a minute as you pass. Or you balance the checkbook so he doesn't have to do it.

People perceive love differently. If you can find what your partner perceives as the most loving thing and do that, you're expressing your love perfectly for that person. And you're being thoughtful, too. You're thinking of that person and trying to make them happy.

If you combine these things and apply them, then you've found the secret to relationships that can make your partnership a happy one.

Secret Relationship - Is it Good?

One of the main reasons for having a relationship with someone secretly is because you worry what other people will think. Maybe your parents or friends would not approve of this person. You should really stop and consider why they wouldn't approve before having a secret relationship.

Your family and friends really just want what's best for you in most cases. Now and then there are situations where they just want to impose their will on you. But for the most part, they're looking out for you.

Do they feel the person will hurt you, or doesn't treat you right? Has that person given them reason to think the relationship might not be a good one? If they disapprove on those grounds, you can hardly blame them. In fact, keeping the relationship a secret hints that you might not disagree completely.

It could be that you just don't want to hear their protests. But it also could be that you know they're not entirely wrong. Otherwise, why not have the relationship out in the open and show them how wrong they are?

If they disapprove of the relationship for reasons that are petty or clearly based on their own issues, then you should ask yourself why you're having a secret relationship at all. Things like thinking that your partner doesn't have enough money or class, for instance, would be no reason to hide the relationship.

You may, out of a desire to not have to hear their complaints. But for such a narrow minded reason, you shouldn't worry about keeping their minds at ease. If they don't like your partner's race or even sex, it can be simpler to keep the relationship a secret. But you shouldn't have to unless you really want to.

Why not show them that you're your own person and you're proud of how you feel? By having your relationship out in the open, you're being more true to yourself and your partner. And maybe you'll even change their minds about what being a relationship means.

You might even be surprised to find some friends or family members don't feel the same as the rest. Often, if a family or group of friends is against something, like an interracial relationship, you perceive each person as feeling that way.

But it could be there are a few who didn't want to speak up and be different. Don't be too hard on them for not standing up for you and what they believe in. They probably felt outnumbered and did not want to hear the arguments. And you're in a secret relationship, after all, because you didn't want to have to hear the protests either.

Get Girlfriend Back Even if you have been a Jerk

Here are some tips that might help you getting your girlfriend back.

With no doubt is going to be tough for you, but I'm going to suggest something counter-intuitive: leave her alone! Give her some time to herself. You never know, she might well realize that she misses you and agrees to start up the relationship again all on her own. Don't dismiss this possibility, even if all looks lost right now, equally don't cling to it as a possibility. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't!

However, if what you need to get girlfriend back is a much more direct and hands on approach then again, take some time out and use that time to get your head straight. By default, you give her some time to think also and put the whole thing into much needed perspective.

So, find your friends and spend time with them. Make sure you are not pestering her with emails and texts and accidentally trying to bump into her in the places where you know she hangs out. This will only back fire on you and ruin your chances of getting her back, because she'll only become annoyed with you.

If you neglected her, missed her birthday, hardly ever took her out, then you need to seriously look at that behavior. No girl worth her salt is going to put up with such behavior. A girl wants and needs, to be taken out and made a fuss of. She needs to know that you want to be with her for more than the obvious. If you fail to show her that, then she will walk and find a guy who can show her that.

If all that you did was hang around with your friends and ignored her wishes, then again, you're going to have to understand that this is not the way to treat a girl. If you're sure that you want a girlfriend then it's time to fix up, look good and look sharp! Start acting like she's important to you.

To get girlfriend back you now need to show her that you have understood her needs and you are ready and prepared to meet those needs. Don't mess up and try and get her back under false pretenses. It won't work for long and maybe when she leaves the next time, she'll be gone for good.

The Best Spouse Relationships

The best spouse relationships are based on love and respect. That goes without saying, doesn't it? Everyone probably realizes that love and respect are crucial to having a good marriage. But beyond love and respect there are a few things that can help spouse relationships.

Think back to when you were first married. If you're newly married, think back to when you first met and were dating. How did you treat your partner? You probably treated your partner with respect, but also with kindness and thoughtfulness.

Unfortunately, it's common that the longer we know someone, the less kind we tend to be toward them. One would think that the opposite holds true. But we start to take the other person for granted and think they'll always be there, no matter what.

Think of the last time you went to the bank or grocery store and spoke to the cashier. Maybe you exchanged words with a stranger. How was the tone of your voice and your words? You probably sounded like the sweetest person on the planet. That person might have thought “how polite” when you walked away.

Now think to the words and the tone of the voice you use with your spouse sometimes. When you get angry or you're unhappy about something, think about how you sound. Would you ever speak that way to a stranger? If you're thinking “probably not” then you’ve started taking advantage of your spouse.

People do it with close friends, parents and children, too. If we could record people's conversations and play them back at a different time, people might be ashamed of how they sounded. And they probably wouldn't speak that way to someone they didn't know well for fear of hurting their feelings!

Good spouse relationships are kind ones. Everyone gets angry now and then. And yes, everyone says things he or she regrets in an angry and even hateful tone of voice. But you can keep these instances to a minimum by just thinking about whether you'd talk to your postman or your boss that way.

Thoughtfulness is also an important factor in good spouse relationships. People love their spouses, but it seems the longer they're together, they less they sometimes show it. Your spouse is one person you should make a point of being thoughtful toward, too.

In the beginning when you're first dating someone or first married, you might send (or receive) flowers, cards and little surprises. Generally after people are married for a while, these sorts of things slow down or stop. Remembering to be thoughtful and surprise your spouse can help makes yours one of the better spouse relationships.

Try to keep in mind that marriage isn't written in stone. There really are other opportunities out there for your spouse. Bring back some of the things you did and said when you were trying to win this person. Be kind and thoughtful as much as you can. Those combined with love and respect will make yours one of the enduring spouse relationships.

Does love have to be a battlefield?

Is Pat Benatar right?
Does love have to be a battlefield?


Here's two free videos on getting back together with an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend.


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Right Relationship

Are You in the Right Relationship?

There's no foolproof way to determine if this person is the right one for you. The only thing you can figure out if you're in the right relationship at the time. Things can change, but for right now you can look around and see if this is the right place to be. You have to ask yourself several questions to figure out if this relationship is right for you today. Start with, are you happy? You won't be skipping and picking flowers every second, of course, but in general you should feel happy to be with that person.

You may have a doubt now and then or a bad feeling, but if your feelings toward the person and the relationship are mostly positive, then you could be in a great relationship. Don't let the odd doubt or strange feeling make you wonder if you've made a mistake. When you do feel doubt or feel sad, why do you? Is it because you're wondering about a specific other person and thinking that you might be with them instead? Or are they just general thoughts about the possibilities you might be missing if you weren't in this relationship?

Everyone thinks things like that from time to time. But if you're preoccupied by “what ifs” and “if only” thoughts, you might not be in the right relationship after all.

Do you feel safe in the relationship? This applies to feeling physically safe, as in your partner would never hit or abuse you. And it also applies to feeling emotionally safe. You feel that they would not want to hurt you for the world.

Do you feel safe from the threat of a break up? Or do you worry about your partner cheating often? If you spend a lot of your time in the relationship wondering if the other person is capable of cheating, then you might not be with the right person. If you think the person is cheating, then you're spending a lot of time being suspicious and questioning his or her motives. That's no way to spend your days. You need to figure out if your doubts are reasonable.

Would that person actually cheat or do you think those things from your own insecurities? If you really don't trust the other person, you shouldn't be in a relationship with them. That will only serve to make you miserable and suspicious, and can end badly for both of you.

Do you feel special? If you feel like you're constantly fighting for the other person's attention and affection, you might look for someone else. You should feel like the person most important to them if you're in the right relationship.